I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
