I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
