Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
