if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize