He uses pillows to masturbate.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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