What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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