You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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