you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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