I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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