the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
