Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
