You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize