dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
