And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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