I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
