I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize