I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
