SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you would pick up someone in the library
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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