Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
