hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
