Nicole vs. Life
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
