All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize