Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
