big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
