Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
