you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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