It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
