I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
