is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
