Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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