i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize