so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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