WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
