I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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