we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
