something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
