I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he fucked my hip out of place.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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