It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
