I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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