oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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