shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize