id be glad to
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
