Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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