tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
