pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
