I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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