Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
