mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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