It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
