When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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