He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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