he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
