Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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