well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
