Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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