you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
