he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
