we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
3pm strippers are depressing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
