He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
