That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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