Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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