The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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