Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
