TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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