Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
