the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
