Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
