Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
