I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
